A Year Ago…

A year ago today I reached the Pacific Ocean after biking 4500 miles. More than half of those miles were unsupported. The first anniversary of the biggest thing I’ve done in my life. I’ve been so consumed with my day to day existence, constantly trying to grasp any semblance of normalcy I can find after such a turbulent year. I didn’t even realize the date until this evening.

I thought I’d feel happy or proud, but my heart sunk when I realized it had been a year. So much trauma has been crammed into this past year that it feels like a year ago is an immeasurable distance. So I’ve decided to reflect on what I’ve accomplished, even if a large portion of it has been due to the car accident that turned my world upside down on the way home.

After my concussion, I’ve completed months of physical, cognitive and vision therapy. I’ve gotten a glimpse of my old self, though I’ve relapsed quite a few times since finishing my various therapies. I get down on myself when I think about how capable my brain was before the accident compared to how it is now. For the most part my language skills are back, except for the occasional backslide. I still have to wear reading glasses and I find it frustrating how little stamina I have to read books these days. My eyes feel strained, glasses or no, after hardly any time at all.

I’m most grateful this year that I got a history job here in Boston that I really enjoy. I genuinely like my coworkers, I’m making ends meet, and not only do I feel like I’m good at what I do, I get plenty of positive reinforcement. No imposter syndrome in sight!

I am slowly trying to chip away at scheduling posts on Instagram, fishing through my brain for the headspace I was in as I neared the end of my bike trip. I keep on thinking I should write my next blog post and pick up where I left off, but when my mom broke her shoulder in April I was just starting to get into a writing routine again. I finally managed to start waking up early enough to go through what I’d written of my book before I left. It had been so long since I’d written anything of my novel that I couldn’t remember how far I’d gotten. Taking care of my mom set me back quite a bit. I manage to wake up early enough in the mornings to work on research or to write about once a week, but I’m working on shifting my wakeup routine so I can do so more often.

I’m finally biking again. I was allowed to get back on my bike in late March, told that I should avoid biking in the city for 6 months after my concussion, lest I get another brain injury and suffer permanent damage. I have nowhere near as much stamina as last year, but over the summer I’d been biking to the subway, and as of a few weeks ago I started biking to and from work. That puts me at about 11 miles a day. I definitely feel stronger, and I still have energy at the end of the day when I get home from work. It killed me to go from biking mountains to nothing, and when I got back onto my bike initially I was depressed by how weak I had become, but I’m starting to feel optimistic again that I can go on longer rides soon.

I also have an announcement to make soon on something rather exciting, but I’m going to keep quiet about it until I feel it’s more official. Keep an eye out for another post soon!